He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
