oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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