He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
