I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize