What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
