Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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