we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
