i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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