You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
