I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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