it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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