Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
