brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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