I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
