So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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