I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
