What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize