Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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