I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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