can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Congratulations! We have a period
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