And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
