? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
