Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was confusing and full of hummus
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
