And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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