Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
