I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize