He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
