ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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