Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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