Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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