I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
