Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
