i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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