he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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