There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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