Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
