i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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