just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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