If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
