On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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