anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
