i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
