I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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