Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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