wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
