It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
