Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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