I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize