so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
