You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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