ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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