a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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