She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
