He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
