i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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