I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
be right there i have to get my cape
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
