wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ladies don't puke and tell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
