every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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