He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
