Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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