i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
